Last Great American Whale
They say he didn’t have an enemyHis was a greatness to beholdHe was the last surviving progenyThe last one on this side of the world
He measured a half mile from tip to tailSilver and black with powerful finsThey say he could split a mountain in twoThat’s how we got the Grand Canyon
Last great American whaleLast great American whaleLast great American whaleLast great American whale
Some say they saw him at the Great LakesSome say they saw him off of FloridaMy mother said she saw him in ChinatownBut you can’t always trust your mother
Off the Carolinas, the sun shines brightly in the dayThe lighthouse glows ghostly there at nightThe chief of a local tribe had killed a racist mayor’s sonAnd he’d been on death row since 1958
The mayor’s kid was a rowdy pigSpit on Indians and lots worseThe old chief buried a hatchet in his headLife compared to death for him seemed worse
The tribal brothers gathered in the lighthouse to singAnd tried to conjure up a storm or rainThe harbor parted, the great whale sprang full upAnd caused a huge tidal wave
The wave crushed the jail and freed the chiefThe tribe let out a roarThe whites were drowned, the browns and reds set freeBut sadly one thing more
Some local yokel members of the NRAKept a bazooka in his living roomAnd thinking he had the chief in his sightsBlew the whale’s brains out with a lead harpoon
Last great American whaleLast great American whaleLast great American whaleLast great American whale
Well, Americans don’t care for much of anythingLand and water the leastAnd animal life is low on the totem poleWith human life not worth more than infected yeast
Americans don’t care too much for beautyThey’ll shit in a river, dump battery acid in a streamThey’ll watch dead rats wash up on the beachComplain if they can’t swim